Last night was good....sorta

Nothing can be perfect right?
It started out great. I was off work, it was one of our first nice days of spring. I got home, the kids had already done homework. My boyfriends son (he's 15) was cleaning. REALLY cleaning! Pulling out the couches and cleaning under them. Rearranging the shoe pile, sweeping, the whole nine yards. Jason (my BF) had already done dishes and was out chopping wood when I got there. He remembered to get the ribs out to thaw because we were going to grill. I was almost on cloud nine. My wonderful family!!

I am the bread winner in the house. For years, I have struggled with my various live-in BF's that if I make the money, you are going to make the home! None really agree with that. And before you say anything.... yes they have all been losers. However I am a needy and insecure person, so I take who I can find. Back to last night...

Then it was gone. The happiness the sense of family. The feeling that everything might be alright. I know right where it started too. I opened that damned beer. Jason is an alchie too. He doesnt usually start until I do, and thats usually every or every other night. My mood changed. His mood changed.

Jason cooked the most wonderful dinner though, ribs were great, fried potatoes...... mmmm,mmmm. First time I haven't had to cook all winter. HA, triumph! I told him what a good meal he made, put the kids to bed, had a talk with Jason's son Cody about school.

Cody hasn't been in school for almost 7 months now. He is a troubled kid. He gets in fights and gets kicked out. Breaks the law and has been to juvey a few times. His mother doesn't want him, but she wont give him to us. So she gave him to Jasons mom who lives in TN. He came to visit us and hasn't left. So I brought up the issue of school. Cody refuses to go, Jason wont make him. He wants to do homeschooling. Jason agrees. Who pays for this? Me of course! I'm fine with that so long as Cody puts out the effort to actually educate himself. I want to do better for him that his family has. Did I mention his Grandma is on CRACK?

When I drink to excess, I get sleepy and go to bed. After all, I have to get up and go to work in the morning. When Jason drinks to excess, he gets stupid. Period. I wake up in the middle of the night with him looking for something. Tearing up the bedroom, lifting the mattress I'm trying to sleep on, asking where it is. I haven't figured out what "IT" is yet. When he see's that I'm not going to get up to help him, he storms out, and slams both the bedroom door(after falling up the steps) lol, and the front door.

When I got in my car to go to work this morning I saw my purse had been gone though, and the spare set of keys gone. Which I took in the first place because BOTH Cody and Jason had been driving while I'm gone. Neither of which have license. Neither of them have a vehicle.

Where does that leave me for tonight? Going home and asking why someone was in my purse? Tell him that he's and ass for acting like that? No, because he will make an excuse or get mad at me (though I never really know why). He doesn't take responsibility for anything. So, I'll just move through the night, wishing I didn't need a beer (or 12)to make it through another night.