lets revisit today

Growing up seems like a dream. Some memories play through my head stongly while others pop in to say "Hi", and scare the fuck outta me.
Some that play strongly though my head, are of my mother screaming at me with that exorcist tone "You have the devil in you kid!" That phrase alone is the only one that sticks out. However there was lots more.
Another one is of Mom and Dad arguing. Dad was always drunk when he came home (late) from work. The first words outta her mouth were always "Where the hell have you been?", And then "Dont lie to me you bastard!" Then the arguing would carry on into the night. Most nights I would lie awake in bed with my stomach in knots, feeling like I would throw up. I would wait for things to start crashing and then sneak down the steps to make sure they weren't hurting each other.(Did they really think I could sleep through all of that?) I always hoped that one of them wouldnt die that night.
I used to have the same recurring dreams (nightmares) when I was young. No suprise that they were anxiety filled. One was of me hiding under the tailgate of my dads old truck crying, there were Teridactyls(sp) flying around our house swooping down towards my dad. He was waving his arms trying to get them to leave. I was terrified they were going to kill him. I would always wake up sweating and crying. Another one was of mom and I standing out behind the train cars (there were three lining one side of our property), we were between the cars and the field. I picked up a rock (I can remember the look and feel of the rock perfectly) and I threw it at my mom. It hit her in the face and slid her whole face to the side of her head. It's not gory, I dont see any blood just her face on the side of her head. She is shaking her hands and making a sound something like moaning. I feel scared and sorry, then I wake up.
I know, my mind is a piece of work right?